thank you notes are the ticket

mother taught me to write thank you notes. i am glad she did. i finished my notes to all the people that have made my experience in nepal better than i expected. and now here is my note to nepal.

Dearest Nepal,

Thank you for having me in your Federal Democratic Republic. I appreciate the time we have spent together, and I know that you and I will remain constant sources of amusing anecdotes to our friends and family. Sometimes the stories will be dull to those who are on the outside of all our inside jokes, but we will keep telling them because that's how we are! You & me: peas in a pod!

As your friend, I think we can be honest with each other. You could do for some improvement, would you mind if I shared? If not, just skip to the end of the letter. I have numericalized the list to make it easy, cause you are sometimes illiterate:

1. Your breath fucking stinks. Man, learn to clean up. And I'm pretty sure your rivers smell like putrid shitty farts, dude, so work on that. Seriously, its repugnant and people talk about it.

2. Hygiene is damn important and in that vein- work on your first impression as they are lasting. The fucked up garbage piles do not make for pleasing scenery; it makes you seem lazy and unappreciative of your guests & inhabitants.

3. Get with the program and figure out some laws! For fuck's sake the whole: "I'm a nascent democracy" thing is immature, unprofessional, and highly obnoxious. 20 years in and your still fucking around? You need some tough love, I'm sorry.

4. The thing is: if in the last year there have only been 4 days without bandhs (strikes) you should come to terms with the fact that people aren't happy. Take it as a sign that something needs to change. As your attorney, I'd say, you need to figure out how to get your citizens on your page and to stay here, not flee. That's generally an ominous sign.

5. And the whole caste system? Really? Are you serious with that one? I mean, probably, you are just pulling the wool over my eyes. But you think that's the way to run a society? Making people untouchable is definitely in the 101 course of how NOT to fucking run a country and prosper and be awesome.

Nepal, look, you've got some work to do. You've got your work cut out for you, as they say. But. Look. I think maybe you might get your shit together if you put your mind to it. You really have a lot to offer when you sweep away the shit and the dirt. I mean you've got the fucking himalayas dude! Work it, girl.

I know, I was harsh. But I am so close with you that I think we can do this, no? PLEASE keep in touch. I actually learned to love you, and I hope to see you again. Honestly, I do.

Many loves and sincere best wishes for the future.

Your Sathi,

Whitney