So I've been big brothering the shit outta you guys. Like totally just watching you. Figuring out who in the EFF is reading this piece of shit. I'll tell you hookers, in all seriousness, I got slamfaced depressed on Saturday cause literally only 8 people checked in, or maybe one person checked it 8 times (Summers, I know you're bored). Then holy crap Sunday trickled in with a tripling of views and now I feel better because despite the fact that it's still a ridiculously low number of followers, it is so the fuck much better than 8. Cause 8 is boring and sad even though it looks like a vertical infinity.
Yesterday I stole a clementine and cupcake right out of the hands of some tall dude. SCORE. I also attended dim sum, a christmas party, and a fucking concert. Don't you feel like a total loser, I bet you only had ONE of those plans, unless of course you are one of the two who had all the plans with me and then you're totally like: shut up vendetta face. And then the three of us are laughing in the back of a taxi and I can't stop and I think a little pee just peeped in my lime green pantsy pants.
InCONCLUSIVE CLOSINGS: I am feeling gamey and hyper. It is 8:43 AM, I forgot my debit card at a bar, and I got excited when I thought I saw the sun rising this morning only to realize it was the fucking reflection of some shiny shit thing. But that's how it is when you aren't sure if you're coming or going. A+ weekend minus Saturday when I didn't have a laptop and the 5AM diner visit wouldn't forget itself inside my mindworkings nor would it let my eyes remain open for more than 20 minutes at a time. The point is: it's time for work bitches. A pre-work post: that's a first and probably last.
Are you a drunk neocon too? Totally JK omFg LOLing in your earface! Tots rolling on the ground.
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And later that evening, one of those two from the lost taxi was asked, by an inebriated man in The Woods, "How do you feel about Kegel exercises?"
Write your own blog you creep. BAAAAAAH!
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