eff you see kay

today sucked; dude, it fucking sucked ass. (i hate that image.)

if you have real problems, do not read this entry. you will hate me. and i will hate you for thinking my day didnt actually suck. if you wish to read something more intellectually stimulating, read this: http://ifpnepal2009.blogspot.com/ (the "names" entry is mine and then some of my comrades wrote articles as well. please also see "because serious is so 2008" by me. i am brilliant and really funny.)

WARNING. there is a lot of cussing and some rude shit. get over it. or go to www.ratemykitten.com

OFFICE 9AM-- it said: "acquiring network address." that's what my laptop was telling me. well shit, you've acquired it before what's the hold up today? deep breath- i decided to use the ancient desktop for my internet needs. but as i was typing really important things to lindsay mazzocco the fucking space bar sticks and leaves awkward spaces between important words. the girl whose chair i'm stealing to talk on gchat comes into the office suggesting i should get out of her chair, and what? give up cyber space? fine. FINE. trying to remain positive, i headed to the coffee shop to saturate myself in the internet only to have it crawling at the speed of one of those babies that just figured out it can move on its own, you know like a 6 month old or some shit. i order my cappuccino. NEXT thing i know, the waiter comes over, per usual, stands up straight and says: YOUR CAPPUCCINO, MISS. the presentation is irritating beyond words. why is your back so straight you tool? what do you want-- a fucking toast in your honor? just put it down you creepy twit. things only got worse when i realized 2 sips into the drink that my stomach was in fact bloating again which happens to be its new favorite thing to do. i knew i wouldnt be able to stomach lunch for fear of shitting myself. so i headed back to the office. i attempted some phone calls. BEEEEEEP, it screamed in my ear. the phone just kept beeping in my ear every time i got to the 5th number to which i responded by slamming it down only to have it fall of the receiver. i decided to divert myself from this neanderthal of an instrument, so i asked: "is there any editing i can do?" words were exchanged all with an accent; i couldnt understand one fucking thing that was said all i knew was i wasn't editing. i was redoing graphs i had made for the 90000th TIME. and the phone still wasn't working. when i DID get through i couldnt understand one thing the fucker said. i think i have a meeting friday, but who the fuck knows? oh, BY THE WAY: the fan was not in our office and the sun was having a shitfest draping himself all the fuck over me like some asshole whose had 12 too many G&Ts. now would be the time to talk to my boss, right? so i says to him, i says: "look- i wont be in much next week. and then its almost the end of my internship..." THEN. he had the BALLS to say: "let me know one week before you leave so we can give you a ceremony." sure thing. "for what dude? for the fucking emails i write to my mother? yes, ceremony indeed. i expect a cake." alright fine, 430 is close enough to 5 for me to leave, so i do. Krishna meets me at the door and when i tell him i want bread (NOW), he asks if i want cheese with it. oh man, this kid is the nuts! (literally the best part of my day.) i resolve to watch tv in the living room but the door is fucking locked probably to keep the servants out- i dont know, i feel a splinter of compassion but that quells when i realize that means im relegated to my room which is at coolest 546 degrees in the C form. but fine, at least i have the dumbest movie in the world on dvd, nanny diaries, ill watch that. oh whats that? cant hear it? yea the sound isnt fucking working. to top it all off SASHA, that dog insists upon nuzzling into my vagina when i leave the house to come to this warm hole of an internet shitfest. get the fuck out of my vagina you perverted furball. look. i'm sorry. fuck off.

the end. im going back to the cafe to have some fucking turd face stand erect next to me and say: WHITE WINE MISS! to which i'll kick the bastard in the knees and tell him i'd like to post his conflict. (inside joke. fucking laugh anyway, or ELSE.)

the real end. xoxo you're the best. luvs it! lol. omfg.