gross! ew! don't touch ME.

LMazz (who I will see today when I fly on the airplane to Chicago) suggested I look into this as my new year's resolution type situation. No. I refuse to hug people and this is why:

HUGGING ALSO

pops personal bubble

is a gateway drug to things such as second base

makes fat people exercise range of motion

makes tall people feel wginormous [my spell checker thinks there is a silent "w": AWESOME] whilst making the tiniest feel mini

enables stinky people to rub their armpits all over yummy-smelling folks

is authoritarian, not everyone wants 'em and those who don't are forced into feeling like frigid, WASP-y bitches, for example

spreads viruses, germs, and SNOT

encourages private parts touching with strangers

seems sinful when the stranger has a hard-on [v. common].