The cereal in the airport lounge is free. They offer milk on the side. Usually, I eat my cereal dry, but I thought to myself (several weeks ago): "Let's see what all the fuss is about!" SO, I threw some milk on the Special K with Red Berries. Fucking hell that shit's the best! It's like strawberry ice cream.
Anyway, I was grocery shopping (three days ago) and realized, wait a fucking second! I can eat that cereal at my house. I don't have to wait until the next time I'm in a lounge! So, I bought the shit outta some of this stuff, (it's a sensible solution how could I resist?) and I even purchased milk.
The problem is this: I cannnnnnnnnnot be eating squashy cereal. It's the grossest. And I do not want to have pools of milk in my bowl, so there has to be the perfect balance between cereals and milks and I have to eat it in the right amount of time wherein the milk is still cold (because warm milk reminds me of glue). Not to mention, the honey bunches of oats portion of the cereal remains crunchier longer than the flakes do, so the juxtaposition of the consistency of the balls and the flakes makes mooshly flakes all the less palatable.
READYSETGO. What happens when I eat this cereal is my head is practically in the bowl so as to minimize traveling time. Additionally, I am throwing cereal into my mouth at such a rapid pace and in such large, disgusting quaantities that I usually have milk dripping down my face and my gums are starting to rip apart because the crunchy bits scrape them to pieces. My jaw, by the end of the experience, is nearly locked as I have been crunching, and squashing, and chewing so hard that I can barely hear myself think.
But! The last two sips of the strawberry infested milk is totally worth it. Totally fucking worth it.
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